It's Still Light

I know that having faith is hard.

There's a children's hymn in our church that starts out, "Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day. Faith is knowing the Lord will hear my prayers each time I pray." I love that song. I loved picturing it when I was kid. I would imagine myself praying by my bed as the sun would come up and pretend that the sun was my faith, lighting the world and, more specifically, my day. I knew that as long as I could keep that sunshine, I was going to be OK. And I hoped that my own little ball of sun could help others know that they would also be OK.

Sometimes our faith is not as big as the sun. Sometimes it's only as bright as a small flame on a candle. But you know what the awesome thing is about that small flame? It's still light. It's still light illuminating a dark place. Now, there will be days and moments where your faith will totally be as big as the sun! That's awesome! But don't be ashamed for those days and moments where your faith is a candle flame. Remember: it's still light.

I said at the beginning of my cancer journey that I knew I was going to live. That hasn't changed, but let me tell ya...there have been days where my faith in that promise has been as big as the sun, and then there have been LOTS of days where my faith in that promise has felt significantly smaller than the tiniest candle flame. But guess what? It's still light.

The hard part that comes with faith is not letting the light go out completely. Our job is to "fan the flame of our faith" (Thank you, General Conference talks!). We have to feed our faith in order for it to grow. Hence the next part of the children's hymn, "Faith is like a little seed. If planted, it will grow." We have to nurture our faith. Feed the flame! Give it some more wood and poke it around a little bit with the cool fireplace poker thingy you were never allowed to play with as a kid, and light it up! Use lighter fluid if you got to! Use all the help you can get. Rely on the testimony of others. Rely on whatever testimony you have. Whether it's yours or not. Whether it's as bright as the sun or not. Even if "ye only have the desire to believe." Remember: it's still light.

The even harder part about keeping the flame and light of faith, is keeping the flame when doubts and questions arise; especially when the answers to those doubts and questions don't make sense. Unfortunately, sometimes things won't make sense. Somethings will pass our mortal understanding. Somethings will seem unfair, unjust, and it will be hard to settle our hearts and minds with what we love and hold dear. But hold on to what you know to be true. Hold on to every good thing, and hold on to your flame of faith. The winds of doubt and uncertainty will try to destroy your flame. The clouds and rains of trial will try to hide your personal sun. Tale what light you have, and protect it. Cherish it. Feed it. Because remember, no matter how dark the skies are, or how little the flame, you still have light.

I know that having faith is hard. Do not think you are alone in the ups and downs of how bright and strong your faith is. More of us, myself significantly included, understand more than you know. Please do not let your light die because doubts and trial arise. Instead, seek ways to strengthen your flame. Search the scriptures, ponder what you know to be true and what questions you want answered, and pray earnestly and humbly (that one is hard, but the most important) to know the truth. The ultimate Giver of Light and Truth will answer you.

But you know what's absolutely fantastic if you're light does go out? After every storm, the sun comes out shining. And there are a million and one ways to start a fire. :)

Remember you are loved. Remember you are important. Remember that you are known. And again, no matter the size of your faith, it's still light.