I have spent many hours and thoughts pondering how to write this entry in a way that will paint my topic in the best light, and in a way that will help people understand this topic better. I have felt the need to write this entry for over a year now, and I think I finally got it all down.
As I have not so subtly hinted on Facebook, I have General Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes it's hard saying that out loud, because sometimes people begin to think of you differently and treat you differently. I have decided due to past and more recent events to hopefully clear up, a little more, the stereotype-filled-air, and hopefully shed a little more light on the subject of anxiety.
FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE WITH ANXIETY
1. The Struggle Is Real
My best friend once asked me to describe what it felt like to have an anxiety attack. I told her it's a battle of the mind. In the rational side of your brain, you know everything is fine and that nothing is wrong with you. On the other hand, there is a small part of your brain that is filled with irrational fear. And unfortunately, that small part has a way of growing and enveloping the rational side in fear and panic. At that point the struggle is calming yourself down to the point where your rational side is able to take over again and squash the fear. This can take minutes to hours, depending on the severity of the attack. Most of the time everyone has a "trigger" that causes the anxiety to build. Sometimes it comes from nowhere and you just gotta deal. You may want to tell us at times to just "shake it off" and that "it's all in your head," and to a point you're right. It is all in our head. We know that. That's why, for us, the struggle is very real.
2. It's Different For Everyone
Everybody's anxiety is different. For some it's social situations; for others it flares up due to past experiences that are suddenly brought to the present mind. And then for others it's purely about their current situation and environment around them. Everyone experiences anxiety at some point in their lives, and no two people with anxiety are the same. Don't lump everyone with chronic anxiety in a huge barrel and believe that what works for one person will work for another. Because our situations and triggers are different, so are our solutions to the problem.
3. We're Not Crazy
I'll say it again. We are not crazy. Often times people diagnosed with anxiety or panic disorder don't like to share that tid bit of info, because then people begin to treat us differently. We know how ridiculous our fears are. We know exactly how irrational we sound. We are totally aware of the situation. But again, for us no matter how ridiculous we sound, the struggle is very real. We get anxious. We get nervous. We work it out the best we can and sometimes with or without the help of others. You don't need to watch us like a zoo animal waiting for something insane to happen or for us to freak out and run. We'll think you're crazy. ;)
4. Be Patient
I asked my husband to help me with this one. I asked him what was one thing he would tell people about those with anxiety. At first he said, "That you're not crazy." (See. Told ya.) But I already had that one. So he said, "People need to know to be patient. It might take a little while for someone to work through an anxiety attack. And it might take awhile for someone to be able to have the control over their anxiety that they want to have. No matter what though, you gotta be patient with them, help them, and love them. They will get there." (Yeah. I married a good one.)
5. All We Need Is For You to Be There
Just knowing that you are there and that we can rely on you, makes a huge difference in our struggle. And when I say knowing "you are there and that we can rely on you," I mean that having the knowledge that you are a friend, that you will try to be patient, that you will sit with us while we work out our struggle, not judge us, but love us, and even help us focus our minds on something else; these things alone are HUGE. For me, knowing I have a hand I can hold while I count my breaths to help me calm down, or knowing I can call a few friends to sit and watch "Bob's Burgers" with me because John isn't home from work yet and I just had an anxiety attack, or knowing I can call someone who will simply talk to me till I'm OK and have worked things out; all these things help more than you know.
Don't be afraid to ask questions. The more you know, the more you can help. And if you don't want to be that help because you're unsure of what to do or you don't know if you can or even want to handle it, that's OK! We get it. Really. We understand that more than you think. There are many days where we don't even want to deal with it.
So, again. Don't be afraid to ask questions. The more you know is the more you know! :)
