"Miss Adams, why are you so grumpy?" Because if you don't fight for your education, I will.

Ugh. I've been hearing this a lot lately. "Miss Adams, why are you so grumpy?" "Why are you mad all the time?" "What did 2nd period do to you now?" "Why have you stopped being the cool teacher?" "Are you mad?"

Ugh. Again, I've been hearing this a lot lately. Let me explain...

Teaching is not easy. It may look easy, but its not. Every single teacher in the history of education has said that the first year is the hardest. Most teachers quit after their first year. You just have to get back up on the horse, try again, and keep going. NOW... coming in the middle of the school year, following a teacher who had completely lost all drive and will power to do anything, AND teaching 150 ninth graders who want nothing more in life than to drive you crazy... now THAT'S hard.

Don't get me wrong. I love my students. I really do. People don't believe me, but I do. And a lot of them like me (or so they say...). Even my worst kid who drives me up the wall...I'll still fight for him/her. I'll still do everything in my power to help them succeed.

Classroom management is hard. Don't let anyone EVER tell you differently. Keeping control of a classroom, not leading by fear but rather by love and respect, and being able to keep a positive repoire with kids while disciplining them is hard. I have been met with opposition, help, respect, disrespect, you name it, these kids have thrown it at me. And I am so tired.

They push, and I push back. They pull, and I pull harder. I never knew how strong I was until I got this job. My principal told me the other day she didn't think I'd make it this long. Not because she thought I was a weak teacher, but because my classes have run out 3 other teachers before me. And then she asked me how I do it and all I could say was, "I'm the newbie who has idealistic fantasies about changing the world one kid at a time. I can't give up. I'd hate myself if I did."

And no matter how tired I am, I CAN'T give up. Every morning I wake up and go to school no matter how hard I know the day is going to be. And even though it's hard, I still love my job! I do! I can't deny that. Not everyday is a nightmare, only some every now and then. But whenever I have a bad day with the kids, I let it overshadow the good days, which is something I need to work on.

Anyway, back to the title of this blog. What these kids don't understand is that I'm not mad or grumpy or angry...I'm frustrated. There is a huge amount of apathy in the kids of today, and everyday I get frustrated with the lack of trying. When grades were due, I stayed after school for 3 hours grading last minute make-up work just so I could get their grades up. I was even changing grades in a frenzy on Monday morning just to raise one kid's grade from a A- to an A. Because that little bit of difference makes a huge difference to some of them. And then you have the kids who just don't care after I've given them ample of opportunities to raise their grade. Why won't you fight for yourself?

Now I'm not trying to say, "Oh hey, look at me, I'm an amazing teacher," because I'm not. Far from it. I just needed the space to vent. Like I said before though, I love my job and I love my kids. Everyday I wake up and thank Heavenly Father for giving me this opportunity. And everyday I thank Him for giving me the strength and love needed to do this job. You just never know how much the Lord has given you until you stop and look back at your blessings. And He has given me a lot. Therefore, I too must give. I MUST give my all. I MUST care. Not only MUST I, I WANT to.

Life in the UT, baby!

What can I say? I love living in Utah. I am having a blast and I feel so incredibly blessed and happy to be here. So much fun!

For starters, I live with my Aunt, Uncle, and Grandma. It has been a lot of fun to live with family and we have such a good time. Soon I'll be moving in with my friend, and co-worker, Kathrin, and I'm excited to do that as well!

Teaching is so much fun. Even on days when my kids have been down right rotten and hooligans from Hell, I still love it and want to come back the next day. That's when I knew I loved my job. :)

OK, so maybe they're not hooligans from Hell, but they can be pretty bad sometimes. I still am growing to love them. I do miss my Vegas kids like crazy though...

I'm a swim coach! What can I say? I AM LIVING MY DREAM! Ever since high school I have wanted to be a teacher and swim coach. And now... I am! I coach for a year-round club team and again, I am having a blast!

My singles ward is small, but awesome none the less and I have made a lot of new friends there. They are so welcoming and kind! I had a hard time with the singles ward scene back home. Straight up, I didn't go. I knew I wasn't wanted, so why waste my time? But here, oh my gosh. SUCH a difference! I love my new ward and it's pretty awesome.

All in all, I just feel so happy. I really am happy here. I am also happy to be able to go visit home during my Spring Break in April! That'll be fun. :)

Thanks for having me, Utah!

New Blog Name Based on My Decisions of Idiocy

So, I'm thinking of changing my blog name to "I'm Having Delusions of Grandeur Idiocy..." Honestly. I really am. Because it seems as if everything I do lately revolves around stupid decisions I make. So, I made the dumb blizzard mistake (see "Good Samaritan" blog) and now I have made another one. Granted, it was also part accident. But if I was being smart, I wouldn't have the problem I am now dealing with.

Friday night my dad and I stopped at a hotel in Wyoming on our way to Salt Lake. The next morning when I was taking a shower I realized the shampoo and conditioner was on the sink...not in the shower. So, instead of turning off the water and stepping on the towel, as to not get water on the floor, I decided to leave the water on, and try to sneakily (sp?) step onto the towel without getting water on the floor. BIG mistake. And I mean, BIG. I stepped out and slipped. Not only did I slip...I slipped, hit my back on the edge of the toilet seat, and then hit the floor. I rolled onto my hands and knees and then the pain and panic set in. Next thing I know, I'm crying and I can't stand up.

I managed to throw on some clothes and opened the door. I crawled to the hotel bed and laid there for about half and hour while my dad decided what to do and refigured the packing in the car so I could lay down and make it to the hospital/Salt Lake. After 30 minutes I was able to stand and "shuffle." We drove all the way to Salt Lake and there I went to Emergency Care. Luckily, the doctor said, I didn't break anything. But he said I mutilated my muscles. "You took a hit and you took it hard."

So, I've been on a few meds and have been resting a lot. I am a million times better than yesterday, there is no need to freak out, and really...I'm doing great. A lot, a lot, a lot better. But I know several people have been asking about it because my loving sister felt the need to ask EVERYONE to pray for me. Lol. I love her. :)

But as I said earlier, my dumb decisions of idiocy. Is it time for a blog name change? I think so. If it's not one thing, it's something else.

Like Father, Like Daughter...All the Way to Utah!

Tomorrow morning at 6 am another journey across the country will begin! I am packed, the tank is full, got my Dasani ready (this is a Liz tradition), got my map (That's right. No GPS. An actual map.), and I am good to go! I have actually driven this route more times than I can remember. We've been taking it since I was 8. So needless to say, I know where I'm going, but my Dad and I like to quiz each other on the state capitals and nicknames and I can't do that without a map. Yes, we're nerds.

I love driving. I really do. I just find some kind of comfort in driving and I actually have this secret dream of being a stunt driver. Anyway...I am very excited to have my dad with me on this trip. I have made the trip by myself, with my sister and brother-in-law, with my friend Nichole, with my mom, and with my dad.

We have a lot of fun. My dad is a lot like me sometimes. We want to get there. No stops, just go. Get there. But sometimes we do like to stop and look at something or visit some place. My dad also likes to quiz me on my "film score" knowledge. Here's the story. Me and my dad both love film/movie scores. We love listening to instrumental music and his collection is insane! He has so much music from The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra, that it would take a day or two to listen to all of it. It makes me insanely jealous. Every trip he'll make a new mix and play it in the car. And I have to guess what movie the song comes from or what the title of the song is. Then we rehash our favorite parts of the movie, favorite lines, etc. And then he gives me the mix.

We talk movies. Music. What it was like for him growing up. Stories from his mission (the BEST). College. He asks me questions about anything and everything. I love it.

We also very good, deep, gospel discussions. The plethora of knowledge my dad has about the church and the gospel is amazing to me. My dad hasn't always been a member. He joined the church when he was 19. But he can quote something from every single prophet and a lot of general authorities. He can tell you what the talk was called and when it was given. He knows the scriptures better than anyone I've ever met and when you ask him a gospel question, he can walk over to our "church bookshelf," pull a book from the 30 that are there, and flip to the exact page to find the answer. It never ceases to amaze me.

Most girls want to grow up to be like their moms. And I do, too. But I also want to grow up to be like my dad. If I can grow up to be like both of them, then I think I'll be happy.

All in all, I'm looking forward to this trip! And I am even more excited to see this...

and this...

and this...

Hang on, Utah! I'm coming!

No Longer in Limbo

"Who says God doesn't answer prayers? Because He does." - Iris Dunn

The amazing woman who gave the above quote is my grandmother. I love my cute, little, British grandma with all my heart and this is what she said when I gave her the news.

I am no longer in limbo. I have a job! And for this, I could not be more grateful. On Monday the 10th, I received a phone call from a certain school district in Salt Lake City, UT, asking if I was still interested in working for their district. YES, YES, YES! What they didn't know was that I was still in Georgia. They agreed to have an over-the-phone interview with me the coming Friday. I had my interview and felt very good about it. I felt that I could have done better, but that I did fairly well and was very excited to hear the outcome the following week. They said they would call "mid week" so I practiced exercising patience and waited. I was a wreck all Tuesday, Wednesday, and then finally on Thursday, let's be honest, I had just become a hot mess. My mom said she was afraid to ask me if they had called because I looked like I'd burst into tears at any second.

Friday came and I decided to have a late run on the tredmill. I had been jogging for about 25 minutes when I heard my phone ring. I looked down and didn't recognize the number, but I knew the area code! It was the school! Hallelujah! The principal called to extend me the offer of working with them at their school. And of course, I said yes. :)

I was completely overjoyed. I had been praying and hoping for so, so long to find a job. And I knew the possibilities of finding a teaching job MID YEAR were slim. Finding one out West, even slimmer. I almost couldn't believe it.

I called some family members to let them know and tell them the good news. When I talked to my grandma she was so excited! Mostly because this means I'm coming to live with her (haha!) but then she said, "And who says God doesn't answer prayers? Because He does."

Elder Richard G. Scott said, "Communication with our Father in Heaven is not a trivial matter. It is a sacred privilege. It is based upon unchanging principles. When we receive help from our Father in Heaven, it is in response to faith, obedience, and the proper use of agency...When we explain a problem and a proposed solution, sometimes He answers yes, sometimes no. Often He withholds an answer, not for lack of concern, but because He loves us—perfectly. He wants us to apply truths He has given us. For us to grow, we need to trust our ability to make correct decisions. We need to do what we feel is right. In time, He will answer. He will not fail us...He is your loving Father; you are His beloved child. He loves you perfectly and wants to help you."

Goodbye, 2010.

I know that New Year's is not for a couple of days, but I wanted to write this before 2010 left us.

2010 has definitely been an interesting year for me. When I look back on all the things that happened I start to wonder how exactly I managed my sanity through out the year. It hasn't been easy. Finishing college, working while in college, holding a high stress (but AWESOME) calling while working while in college. Leaving friends behind, meeting new friends, moving to a rather foreign-to-me place (Vegas) and embarking on new experiences I will never forget.

Let's shed light on the high points! I graduated college! Yay me! That is definitely something to be proud of. I had an incredible summer at the pool. I could not have asked for a better staff to manage/work with and could not have asked for better times. What a great summer! I successfully completed student teaching and met amazing people in the process. I taught kids who have changed my life and hopefully I have affected theirs. I also made a best friend in Vegas who has greatly helped me in the process of preparing for the temple. Thanks, Danielle. I got a piano for Christmas! Yes, a piano. I cried when I saw it. Check my Facebook videos for exhibit A.

Now, there were many, MANY more high points than that. Those are just a few. But I also learned a lot of lessons and experienced a lot of different things. I broke someone's heart for the first time in my life. And for the first time in my life, had my own heart truly broken. I found out what it meant to have true friends in this world and who they are, and that alone has made a huge difference. I learned what it means to fully trust in the Savior and Heavenly Father's plan for me, and I am working on putting that into practice (easier said than done, my friends...). I learned that nothing in life will ever go exactly as you planned it or how you think it will. And that's OK! Roll with it, kid. I know what it's like to feel as if you're being left behind; only to discover that I'm not being left behind, I'm not having these blessings kept from me because I'm being punished for something or am not good enough, and I'm not wearing a sign on my forehead that says, "Avoid Me Like the Plague." I'm not being left behind. My time for this blessing is just a little bit farther down the road than others. And I feel grateful knowing how much support, love, and sighs of relief ( :P) will come my way once that day comes. I also learned that people have their agency. Now, I always "knew" this, but in 2010 I learned the power and affect someone else's choices can have on you. I learned that I can't always be prideful and stubborn and be a pillar of strength for everyone. Sometimes pillars crack and need their own support beam.

Above all else however, I learned the beauty of patience and the importance of faith. I do not have perfect patience and I do not have perfect faith. But I am learning patience in the struggle and striving to have faith in the outcome. I will eventually find a job, I will survive specific trials that I know are coming up in my life, and I will find joy in my journey---now. I will find MY joy by sharing in the joy of others.

2010, you have been eventful. I have never been on a crazier ride. You and I have learned a lot together. I will not cry when you leave, but I am grateful for the memories and lessons I have gained during our time together. See ya later, 2010. And thanks.

There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays

Yes, I am finally home! And I mean home, home. GEORGIA home. :) Like I said, I don't know how long I will be here for, but pretty much until I find a job or make a decision about something.

It was a long 28 hour drive, but I didn't mind doing it by myself. It was actually kind of fun. However, I was getting sick of music today. Something I NEVER thought I would say. I love listening to music. All the time. But today, after listening to it for 2 and a half days, I was ready to be done.

Crossing that Tennessee - Georgia border line was fantastic. I screamed for joy when I crossed over the county line, and was even more excited when I turned into my neighborhood. I got the weirdest feeling. It felt as if I had never left, but at the same time it did feel as if I had left. It was weird, but a good weird. I was greeted by a home decorated for Christmas and my dad (Mom was still at work). The house looks fantastic! I will have to post pictures soon. I love my home at Christmas time. Mom does such a great job decorating and it looks gorgeous!

Mom came home but then was off again to have her annual Christmas dinner and gift exchange with some ladies she works with. So Dad and I went to dinner at California Dreamin'. Can we say, "Yum" boys and girls? And then we came home and watched "A Christmas Carol" (the one with Jim Carey). So needless to say it was a nice, relaxing night at home with my family. I missed them so much.

It is so good to be HOME. Home truly is where the heart is. I know there is something in store for me here, and I just hope that I am patient enough to receive the blessings. I hope with all my heart that I find a job. Any extra prayers and thoughts will be cherished and appreciated. :)